I want to have your abortion
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize