now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize