Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize