She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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