My cat gives me a boner
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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