I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There's always time for handjobs
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
