East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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