if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
