saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
