At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
