Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
