Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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