Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
