Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
