PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
