speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
