i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
