My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
