I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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