I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
