He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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