I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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