I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
