If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize