She is in my trunk
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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