I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
