a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
how drunk are you?
Several
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
