I cockslap morals
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
