Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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