my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He is an equal opportunity slut.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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