He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
