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I must be too annoying 4 u.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
