he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
