You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
