Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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