Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
