These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
