You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
