I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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