By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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