im drinking this country out of the recession.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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