they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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