I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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