It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
