You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
