Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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