Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
