Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
