Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
