Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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