I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
