he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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