the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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