I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm sobbing to NWA
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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