Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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