Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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