Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
