And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
