$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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