You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
