i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
