it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
