we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
