Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
