Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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