I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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