He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
