He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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