She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize