You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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