I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
