I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
