yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
