conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
