she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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