Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize