Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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